#52 - It Sounds so Easy

Today I want to talk about a special topic relating to decision making—specifically decision making for young people. There are difficult decisions to make, no question. But why do young people tend to struggle more with making a decision and then sticking with it? Most teens and young adults don’t really know why they struggle with making decisions or even that they do struggle more than older people. To fully understand, we need to examine the relationship between commitment and freedom.

Many people see choices as a “limiter” rather than a “creator.” What I mean is this: when making a decision, some people think of what they’re giving up. In other words, they are choosing A, but giving up (not choosing) B, C, D, etc. With this type of mindset it feels like making a decision reduces freedom more than it creates. The result of this is one of two things; either a) I make no decision, or b) I keep changing my mind. It isn’t comfortable—in fact, it’s exhausting but it feels safer because dreams don’t require commitment, but decisions do.

There are two problems with this mindset. First, dreams don’t happen without commitment. For a while it seems safer to keep the options open but eventually I realize that I gave up having something to look at everything. Second, rarely are you losing that freedom entirely. In some cases you could go back. In others, you will get those opportunities again.

This picture is intended to make this reality easier to visualize. Refusing to make a choice, or continually changing my mind would keep me at those first three arrows—I’m not really getting anywhere. On the other hand, I could make the blue choice which leads to more choices and more and more choices. As you can see, the freedom is infinite—making a choice is really not a limiting factor. Making a choice is actually a doorway to new opportunities.

Imagine that the column of arrows furthest to the right represent success, dreams accomplished, and goals reached. Indecision at the “starting point” doesn’t increase chances of reaching those dreams—it only delays the journey of getting there. Along the way your goals and dreams may change, but every day you face new decisions that can adjust your direction towards that far end of the sideways pyramid.

This picture is our view from today. As we see it today, we have three choices leading to three outcomes. The problem of course is that it fails to account for future decisions.

In reality, you could choose any of the three options today and still arrive at the same end point.

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans.” –Peter Drucker