#28 - Commitment
There is a shortage of commitment in society today. I struggle with this shortcoming same as many people of our generation. The truth is that we are experts at dodging situations where we have to commit ourselves. Flaking is too common. Honesty is lacking and the excuses are so poor a blind rabbit could see through them.
We’ve all been there, someone wants a commitment to help them with a project or hang out. We don’t know for sure what’s planned (or at least that’s what we say). A good buddy of mine was having a big project day working on a house project. He was hoping for lots of help and asked at least a dozen people if they would be willing to help out. Sure, some people were busy or gone, but a good number said they would be there. Project day arrived, and not one person showed up to help (except for relatives). Starting the evening before and all morning the excuses rolled in by text. “I’m not feeling well,” “I have too many projects at my house,” “my wife wants me to do something,” “I don’t have as much time as I thought,” “I’m tired out from this week,” etc. Perhaps some of these well-crafted excuses were legit, but what are the chances that every single person had one? And why couldn’t these people call to apologize? Instead of the truth, “I’m embarrassed that I’m flaking after saying I’d be there, so I’m just going to make it as un-embarrassing for myself as possible”, they made up excuses that were equivalent to “the dog ate my homework.”
Failing to commit to others is frustrating and a waste of time and effort but what about failing to commit to yourself? What about when you struggle to make a decision or finally make a decision but don’t follow through on it? That is a commitment problem. Legendary Football coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Unless a man believes in himself and makes a total commitment…and puts everything he has into it - his mind, his body, his heart - what's life worth to him?” Wow. What’s life worth to him? That’s intense!
Struggling with commitment can stem from a few places. It could be fear, exhaustion, discipline, or “haters.” Fear is one of the biggest reasons people struggle with committing so that’s why we had previous sections on fear. Exhaustion and discipline are all about goal setting and energy management which we also cover in this program. I recently heard someone say that once you make a commitment to get on a treadmill, don’t step off it until you reach your goal no matter how slow you’re going. There’s a lot of wisdom in that—remember to set up accountability systems (don’t shut it off) and set your goal when your ego power is high (before you’re tired).
Finally we get to “haters.” I know it seems like a strong word. Change it if you wish but I think that framing it with such a strong connotation helps my brain raise red flags. There will always be people who are living passive. They won’t understand why you want to work hard at something. They might not be haters—meaning that they could mean well. I dated a girl who was holding me back—saying I was too focused, working too hard, too driven, etc. At the time of course, it was hard to hear and recognize as negativity, but in reality she was a hater (who meant well). In retrospect it’s easy to see the negativity (“too focused?!”), but sometimes it’s hard to recognize haters. Always be on the lookout for people who are giving advice or criticism. Analyze it carefully and see it for what it is. Then, use it as fuel—burn the haters with your success, but do it with a smile.
Commit to things that are important to you. Once you make a commitment, don’t stop until you win. Enjoy the journey. Always watch for haters.