#14 - Fear Gorilla
When I hear the word “fear,” I picture running for my life across the African savannah hotly pursued by a pride of lions. In many ways fear seems archaic—it kept our ancestors alive as they battled the elements, wild animals, and their neighbors. Today it might prevent us from attempting a backflip or leaping off the high dive but fear shouldn’t play that big of role in our lives, right?
Unfortunately, fear exerts immense control on how many people live their lives. To some extent, we’ve all experienced this. When was the last time you didn’t say something you thought because the people around you might think it was “weird,” “wrong,” or “old-fashioned?” This type of social fear dictates how many people live their lives—choosing what they major in, what sport they play, career path, who they date. All of these decisions are made out of fear at the cost of what this person really wants deep down—their genuine self. They are controlled by this fear gorilla which is really a dumb animal.
As an athlete, you’ve likely struggled with some type of fear. “Am I good enough?” “What if I fail?” “This is going to hurt.” “What if I get injured?” “What if coach is upset?” “I don’t want to let the team down.” In order to perform at our best as athletes we have to push that fear by the wayside and focus on the things we can control. Yes, fear can get in the way—but it’s never an excuse. Sammy Davis Junior said, “You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.”
Recognize Fear
The first step in managing fear in our lives is to recognize it and sometimes it can be difficult to recognize fear in our lives. Obviously something like panic is easy to recognize, but what about when we “just don’t feel like” doing a hard workout? Sometimes there’s an element of fear—are you afraid of the pain in this hard workout? Be aware of these more subtle fears.
Understanding Fear
In order for you to feel fear as an emotion, your brain has to have a sensory input. The emotional feeling of fear follows that input. This can occur based on something one of your five senses (see, hear, feel, smell, or taste) experiences or a memory which those senses trigger. Fear doesn’t just come out of nowhere—it has to be caused by something. OVERTHINKING?
The moment your brain experiences fear, it takes action in two different ways. First, it sends signals to your body systems to prepare for action by raising the heart rate, starting to sweat, wide eyes, and shutting off digestion. This is a survival mechanism to keep you alive sometimes referred to as “fight or flight response.” As a secondary response, you brain also begins to process the threat (is this really something I should be afraid of). Think about the last time someone scared you from a dark corner or something. Almost instantaneously, your heart rate is high, you might have goosebumps, or even scream before you even have time to think, “oh, it’s just my friend Jake.” That immediate response is normal and completely automatic. When your brain thinks there’s a threat you will immediately feel those things we recognize as fear. Secondarily, we get a chance to decide whether we should actually fear the threat. The first action your brain takes happens so fast that you really have no choice.
However, don’t forget the second part of your brain’s fear response. Sometimes it gets overwhelmed by the fear we are feeling (high heart rate, sick to the stomach, sweating, goosebumps, etc.) but nevertheless your brain is trying to make sense of the fear. In other words, it’s out of your control to feel fear to something new or surprising at first but then it’s up to you to separate the actual situation from the fear your first response has already created. The important thing is that your final response to fear is a choice—you can decide to follow through on your automatic response, or reevaluate and change your response. To illustrate this choice think about your friend scaring you. Immediately you feel scared, then you realize that it’s your friend and you can decide to either a) follow your automatic reaction (run away or punch him in the face) or b) realize it’s harmless and laugh or pretend not to be scared.
It’s so easy to recognize that “Jake” is your buddy (or at least used to be!) because you see him and recognize him. Many fears in athletic situations are more difficult because there is nothing to see and recognize—your fear is being triggered by things inside your own head. But, the same process is going on! Your brain is trying to figure out why the fear exists and you need to help it separate the feeling from the actual reason and then choose to push the fear aside and perform anyways. You choose the commitment to your goal over your fear.
Summary
Recognize fear
Understand that you get a choice over your reaction but not feeling afraid at first
So, breathe deep as you think
Separate your immediate response from the situations
Your body will stop feeling afraid after you tell it too
3. Be curious about the great things outside of your comfort zone
4. Practice confronting your fears